My husband is my best friend…NOT

“My husband is my best friend.”

If a note were passed to me and it said ‘who is your best friend?’ My husband’s name is not who I would write down.  And I think that is perfectly ok.

I chose my husband, out of all of the people in the world to spend my entire life with, together side by side until my very last breath.  I think that’s pretty good.  And I’d still pick him, all these years later.  Pretty damn good.

I am so fortunate, I have always had a fantastic set of friends throughout my life, many of them best friends.  My husband has a ton of great friends also, many of them still strong friendships from childhood.

Honestly, I don’t think my husband would want the roll as my best friend if he sat down and thought about it.  Here are some things he’d have to do as my best friend, and he’d hate it:

  • Talk about the percentage that was saved by using the Safeway Club Card off of the whole bill.  Compare and discuss for about 15 minutes.
  • Talk about how Trader Joe’s really isn’t that expensive, like I had the impression of.  Proceed to list my favorite things to buy there, compare, then discuss for about 15 minutes.
  • While away for a weekend, sit and lounge in jammies for the day while ordering movies on pay per view.
  • Talk about what we want to have for dinner at breakfast time.
  • Text about a reference to an event that had happened about 10 years ago, with full expectation of a best friend being able to nail the reference, and respond.
  • Wake up, not sleep through a phone call that is being received after a best friend has gone to sleep.  This hour of phone call would only mean that a) something is wrong, or b) something was really funny that couldn’t wait until the next day.
  • Talk to me on the phone while we are both making dinner and discuss what exactly we are making, how to make it, where we got the ingredients, and who will and won’t eat it in the family.  This may or may not relate back to a prior Safeway or Trader Joe’s conversation.
  • Order an extra mascara for a best friend when placing your order because she likes it too.
  • Get teary eyed when a best friend is emotional over something.
  • Send texts to each other of your drink when you’re having your best friends favorite beer with ‘wish we were having one together.’
  • Make homemade snickerdoodle cookies when your best friend gives birth just in case the chocolate chips would affect the breast milk.
  • Have important, lengthy conversations about people who are famous i.e.: Is Bruce Jenner transitioning into a woman?  Do you think that Jay-Z and Beyonce are splitting up, because I don’t.
  • Texts back and forth with pictures of the song that’s displayed on the car radio, or just a song that you had heard earlier.  (This also is immediately referenced and replied to.)
  • Make reference to Loony Tunes whenever applicable, as well as other coined phrases from cartoons of our youth.
  • Texting to see if I noticed that E-40 is in the front row behind home plate at the Giants game.
  • Make reference to Eddie Murphy whenever applicable.  (ie:  ‘Sorry about your job’ when someone is bent out of shape.)
  • Always respond with ’24 robbers came knocking at my door’ when a story is started with ‘not last night but the night before.’
  • Laughing and crying at the same episode of Scrubs, or, The Office.
  • When something new is learned about an ex boyfriend, a moment must be taken for discussion, and the discussion must always include how lame he is, and how thankful you are that you dodged that bullet.
  • Have a running list of songs and what memory they pertain to in order to reference at any time.  You must nail this one each and every time.
  • Talk about food.  Endless talks about food.  Even if the particular food has been discussed at length in a prior conversation, be prepared to discuss it’s wonderfulness again.

Here’s the thing, my husband is someone who can make me laugh harder than anyone, and the person that I can have the best time with.  Although, he’s also the one that can make me see red.  My best friends help level that playing field at times.  Kinda like a shield to my husband for when I’m seeing red sometimes.  If I can talk and vent and get things out to my best friend when I’m annoyed (or pissed) it takes A LOT of edge off of me, and therefore doesn’t get fired back on him. There are times, every now and then, when I’m mad over something, and those every now and then times, I can overreact.  (So seldom do I overreact that it really shouldn’t even be mentioned…..ha ha, a bit sarcastic.)  I am someone who needs to vent.  I need to make sense of things in my head before I can move on.    Don’t think that I share everything, or private things about my marriage with my best friends, I don’t want to be misconstrued, the point is that at times venting about something allows me to get over it quicker than if I didn’t!

I’m not a hater, I love to see married couples happy.  If your husband is your best friend, that’s awesome.  This post is my best friend outlook.  I’ll keep my best friends that I’ve made throughout my life.  And I’ll keep him as the person that I chose above all others to spend my life with, that’s a pretty good title if I do say so myself.

Disclaimer:  If you are reading this and thinking my husband’s feelings may be hurt, they aren’t.  He read it, he approved, and thought it was pretty funny.  He’s pretty thick skinned, and has a good sense of humor, two of the many reasons I married him and didn’t just make him a friend!  🙂

RDJ eye roll gif cited

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