Bargaining with my body.

One of the worst migraines I’ve had, one that’s definitely on my top 10, was a couple of years ago.  I was in Safeway, grocery shopping, when all of a sudden, there went my eye sight.  And then, through kaleidoscope eyes managed to finish my shopping needs (thankfully I know that place like the back of my hand).  By the time I waited out my eyesight return, it had been well over 30 minutes.  When I arrived home, all I wanted to do was the Nestle Tea fall into the couch, but I realized that may give me vertigo.  I didn’t need vertigo.  After lying down, my lips felt tingly, then numb, along with my arm.  I freaked out and called the nurse on call, and she said that happens sometimes with migraines.  How nice.  Another goodie to add to the bag.  The vice like headache when standing up or bending over of course arrived the following day, along with the dull, not 100% present feeling that is my headaches best friend.  A few days later, I was able to determine that this nasty migraine was the start of me coming down with a flu.  Just in case the flu isn’t bad enough on it’s own, let’s have it joined by a migraine to really give you the 1-2 punch.

Last Friday I left my long term 6th grade sub gig early because I was sick.  3 out of the 5 in my family have been sick within the last 10 days, and I was sure I wouldn’t be joining them.  Wrong.  I was lucky number 4.  (Really hoping number 5 somehow dodges this one, it’s her birthday this week, that would really suck.)

I found myself bargaining with my body when I finally got home and into bed.

‘Ok, if I’m going to throw up, if it’s just one time, I’ll feel better, and that may be better than bronchitis, but only if it’s one time.’

‘If I get a fever, I may feel like I need to call 911 if it reaches 100.1, but it’s better than a migraine.’

Side-note, how can my kids cruise around with a 102.5+ fever and still be coherent, yet last summer when I had a 101.1, I really did consider having my husband bring me to the ER for the splitting headache that accompanied it?

I am on day 3 of feeling like I’m car sick, the dull headache and all.  But no migraine.  It’s almost like I’m in a competition I can’t lose, I do not want to get a migraine.  I’m around the corner from 200 days migraine free, and since I’ve done so much rounding with my 6th graders in math, I know that’s closer to one year than zero years migraine free.  It feels like as soon as I get one again, I’m back to square one.  I know that’s silly, but it’s in my head.  Nothing makes sense inside there sometimes.

So, back to bargaining, with migraines being the top number, and me willing to sell almost anything not to have to buy one.


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  1. Fingers crossed for you staying migraine, free. I know that desperate feeling to not fall off again after a clear period. I hope you beat it but remember one attack doesn’t have to mean another, sounds like you are in a better place so even if you get one another doesn’t have to follow.

    Liked by 1 person

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