Gnats are the Houdini of bugs. (aka, I want a housecleaner)

It’s gnat season.  Not sure if that’s really a ‘thing’, but it is at my house.  Gnats, fruit flies, whatever you want to call them, I call them ridiculously annoying.  You know it’s the season when you walk through the kitchen and they seem to be everywhere.  And they are the Houdini of bugs, because as you slap your hands together and are certain you got one, you open your hands to find that, no, they got away.  I have been known to go a little crazy and swing around a dishtowel chasing after one, still only for it to get away.  On the rare occasion that one is actually smashed by my hands, I feel like I need to walk around and present it to everyone, so they can witness my feat.

These things just show up.  In droves.  And my son in particular just freaks out about them.  I like to think I keep a clean house.  Let’s be honest, as clean as my stockpile of Clorox wipes allows for.  My house is always ‘picked up’, I just wouldn’t go around banking on the 3 second rule if your food drops.  That is, of course, unless we just had a lice outbreak, then you’re good, lick the walls if you want.

Back in ‘the day’ I had a house cleaner come once a month, and even then, there was gnat season.  It may have been a bit shorter of a season, being that she didn’t come once a month armed with just Clorox wipes, but actual buckets with soapy water and delicious smelling cleaning solutions.  This day, this one day per month that she came to clean my house, was by far my favorite day of each month.  To walk into the house, smell the cleanness, and know for that one moment, all was balanced and perfect in my home, was beautiful.  Then, the kids walked in the house, and I looked forward to the next month.

And I digress…

This is what is currently sitting on my kitchen counter:

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It’s a gnat catcher.  I’ve tried a few, and this one seems to do the trick.  I put it by my fruit bowl, which they dance above like the flying monkeys in the Wizard of Oz.  (They don’t only go to fruit, they play ‘chicken’ with whatever you may be sitting down to eat at the dinner table as well.  And they must take pride in making you look like a fool trying to catch one in front of you as you are trying to eat.)  This catcher is just a piece of rolled paper, apple cider vinegar, and a piece of fruit in a jar.  You can find the specifics here.  It works, and it makes me feel a sense of accomplishment that they can’t fly back out.  (Or maybe that’s bullying I feel?  Oh well.)

Although I’m a bit fearful of making this blog post more cool or sexy than it already is, being about my ‘clean’ house and the lovely little bugs flying through it at this moment and all, I might as well just go all in.  These things show up once a year too:

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They are small, (crunchy when smushed) little guys about the size of a felt pen dot.  Not even 1/2 as annoying as gnats, because these just show up, 2-3 at a time in a window sill.  No flying, no dare devil stunts around your food, just slowly cruising, and very easy to catch.  They freaked me out the first time though, where did they come from?  I asked one of my best friends (had to make sure I could trust someone with a bugs in my house conversation), and she also had a couple.  This made both of us extremely uncomfortable, like we had dirty houses, and have continued to report to each other when they showed up on an annual basis.  After scanning the internet, turns out, they are carpet beetles.  What?  They are in the kitchen.  There’s no carpet in the kitchen.  These I can handle though.  They are here and gone within about a week, only totaling about 10 in their entire visit.

And then, to fully bring sexy back, the house flies that come at the end of October make me want to move, or go partially crazy, not sure which.  I do live in the country, in an area that gets super hot during the summer, so maybe that plays into it.  But, it’s gross.  My tactic is when a fly is against a window, to take the dust buster (which one of my best friends has tagged as 2nd most valuable item in the home only to the microwave) and suck it up.  Way better than a swatter in my opinion.

Not sure why I felt the need to boost my coolness factor up with this post, but, as stated in my blog description ‘Migraines suck and other tidbits of my life.’  Gnats are the tidbit for this week my friends.  They suck.

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