chronic migraine

Barely holding on to day 233…

A few times this last week, I’ve hit the panic button.

I felt a little dizzy, a little off, and then the panic dialog started inside my head:

“Oh no, this is it.  This is where the streak ends.  It was a good streak.  It will be ok.  What do I have going on the rest of the today…tomorrow?  I can handle it if it comes.”

Then, thankfully nothing.

Battling though.  Battling.

The weather.  What. The. Heck.

Rain one day.  Sunshine the next.  Thunder and lightening the next.  Then wind like the house is going to blow away.

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Weather is said to be a migraine trigger.

Honestly, at this point, just throw anything out there, it can be a migraine trigger.

Chocolate?  Trigger.  Wine?  Trigger.  Weather?  Trigger.  Dinosaurs?  Trigger.  Roller coaster?  Trigger.  Looking through a window?  Trigger.  Grocery shopping?  Trigger.

Obviously, sarcasm is involved, yet, if you google anything and migraine trigger, I’m sure it will be found somewhere.  Migraines are not choosy.

That leads me to my anxiety induced panic filled web search and phone calls of this afternoon following a regular visit to my natural foods store where I get the arsenal of my anti-migraine potion.

When I went to purchase Butterbur, they were out.  Not only out, but not sure when they will be getting any more in.  Apparently, there is a problem with the butterbur crop or something?  What the what??!!  Ok, how about Feverfew?  Nope, out of that too.

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Looked online, found my brand easily on a website….out of stock/backorder.

Called around and found a store that carried Butterbur about 15 miles from me.  I’ll be going to pick it up tomorrow.  I’m nervous if it is a different brand.  I’m certainly a creature of habit, and I don’t need any slight change to create a reaction in me.  But more important, I don’t want anything to change in my anti-migraine potion, along with my daily anti-migraine smoothie.  Because 233 days migraine free is amazing.  And I’m not sure which cog of this machine is making it work, but I’m not going to screw any of it up.

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99 Problems but a Migraine ain’t one!

Day 99 of no migraines.  Oh ya.

And I don’t actually have 99 problems.  Just giving a nod to Jay Z.  I mean, if I had to start a list, I may be able to come up with some stuff, not sure about 99.   And I hate the word ain’t.  Actually had to google how to spell it.  No lie.

And I digress…

99 days of no kaleidoscope eyes.  No dullness for up to 48 hours with a halting headache, where I do not bend over or stand up quickly for anything short of a fire due to the insanely intensified pain.

Still drinking my anti-migraine smoothie daily, changed it to before lunch a few months ago, along with my herbal supplements.  I drink so many of these, that I’m like a green smoothie connoisseur.  Not sure if that can turn into something lucrative… I do notice when my smoothies are spicier than other days, and I recognize that one type of green is more present than others.  Pretty sure that just makes me a nerd.

99 days is cool.  And within this 99 days, Disneyland was included.  Disneyland.  Crowds, walking somewhere around 10 miles a day…IN CROWDS most of the time.  But the most amazingly surprising part of these 99 days including Disneyland?  I went on the Tower of Terror ride.  Never, NEVER in my life would I have wanted to, or thought I would be participating as a rider on that ride.  All I knew is there was a drop.  My 12 year old couldn’t wait for that ride.  I was going to walk her up the line so she could go on it.  As we were in line, there were tiny kids, like 4 years old in line.  None of them were scared.  I started to psych myself out.  “It’s Disneyland, how bad can it be?  Little tiny kids are going, suck it up man!”  And before I knew it, I was about to be seated on the ride, and my daughter looked at me and said “I guess you’re going with me!”  At that point, my heart was beating so fast that I became a bit light headed.  The ride started, only after meeting another rider who was as terrified as me, and we agreed it would be totally appropriate to hold each others hands if needed.  I can handle the dark, or the trying to be creepy Twilight Zone themed movie clips that were being played to set it all up.  I could not at all handle the drop.  I even more could not handle the going up at the same gravity like speed as the drop.  No less, I absolutely shut down because this up and down stuff, kept happening, with no pattern at all.  All I could do is shut my eyes and hold onto the handles for dear life.  No screaming came out of my mouth.  This is the picture that was snapped by Disneyland when the doors opened and all of Disneyland could be seen from the top:

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I am the adult in the upper left corner.  I must have opened my eyes just a bit to see the light, and to reassure myself that I was still living, although I’m pretty sure I was crying in this picture.  Who is the guy on the right that has their wits about them enough to get a selfie?  What?  I almost couldn’t open my eyes, and this guy is making his Christmas card?

I had jelly legs for 40 minutes following this ride.  My kid, she thought it was the best ever.  I would have rather have had a migraine.  Not kidding.  At least then I know what to expect.  Although that would have thrown off my no migraine streak.  Worst ride ever.  And some people LOVE it!  Good for them, they can have my spot in that line forever.

Anyhow, had to write on day 99, because I’m a bit superstitious, didn’t want to bank on 100, but I am planning on it!  Then I’ll take a look at my first day 100 migraine free post here:  100th Day of no migraines!  Weird, it was 12/21/14, almost a year ago to the date I was celebrating 100 days!  Well, on to aiming for over 200 again!

Migraines Suck.

Damn I hate migraines.

I hate that they interfere in peoples lives, and truly shut down aspects of their lives while they visit.

Yep, in case it wasn’t crystal clear.  Got another one, yesterday.

Walking into a lovely little restaurant for lunch with my sister in laws while on an overnight trip away….kaleidoscope eyes to look through at my delicious lunch. Dull and nasty feeling the rest of the day, headache started last night, didn’t feel like waiting until today which would match normal protocol.

Odd, the last two migraines I’ve gotten (both in the current month), have happened before 12:00 noon, which is a shift from my ‘norm’.  Usually my migraines come in the afternoon.  Going to tweak my smoothie time from between 2-3 pm to about 10 am and see if that makes any difference.  And I know, 2 in one month, still very manageable, and pales in comparison to the two per week I was getting last August.  But when you get to celebrate over 200 days migraine free, as much as I’ll keep my positive outlook, it still SUCKS.

outoforder  Too bad that’s not realistic!  🙂

Migraines suck.