husband

Oh. My. Gosh.

So, this just arrived in the mail this afternoon:

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Oh. My. Gosh.  The only thing that came to mind, is something that I am 99.9% certain that I’ve never said, and that I’ve even made fun of before:

I can’t even.

Because, I honestly couldn’t even.  I couldn’t wait to open it up and see what awaited me with such a fantastic cover!  It’s only got to be more crazy inside right?

Oh ya.

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No way.

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It just kept getting better!

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As unique as the love we share.  Wow.

I can not wait until Christmas morning!  (The sarcasm is strong with this one.)

This just made my day.  It goes hand in hand with these past posts.  Enjoy!

My husband is my best friend…NOT!

Best friend/wedding ring.  Yuck!

 

Best friend/wedding ring. Yuck.

My very good friend asked me the other day if I’d seen the commercial for the best friend/wedding ring.  Um, no.

We have talked many times about the whole husband as my best friend thing.  That’s why this commercial was so extra hilarious to us.  Really?  You need 2 diamonds?  One for your marriage, and one to state you’re best friends?  Yuck.

I made a mental note to watch it on YouTube.

She texted me tonight that she had just seen it again on TV and had I seen it yet.  I immediately went to YouTube.  And this is what I saw:

I may or may not have texted her that I had just thrown up in my mouth.

Again, I’m not a hater.  I love that people are happily married.  I gave that disclaimer in my post My husband is my best friend…NOT.  Heck, I have tomorrow’s date circled on the calendar because it will have been 20 years from the day my husband and I met.  I’m just not into the husband best friend thing, let alone a ring with two diamonds.

I’m thinking it’s a new ploy to get even more extra competitive over the engagement ring.  Did YOU get 2 diamonds?  An extra for being a best friend, or just one diamond because he has a different best friend than you?

Wow.  Whole new can of worms right there.

 

 

My 100th Post! How did that happen?

I can’t believe this is the 100th post on my blog.

The fact that I’ve had enough to say about something 100 times is pretty crazy, but also pretty cool.

As my blog states, You can’t argue with crazy is about how ‘Migraines suck, and other tidbits of my life!’

Well, as I look back through these 100 posts, I’ve written a lot about the other tidbits…

Here’s a few of those tidbits from along the way to 100.  They make me laugh and smile.  So, hopefully when you click on them and read them, they make you laugh and smile too!

Take for instance, posts about bugs:

Or animals:

My husband:  

My Recreation Therapy profession:  

My kids/parenting:

Random no real category posts:

And of course, migraines:

There is one thing about this whole blog experience that leaves me puzzled.  How in the world people find my blog from some of the things they search!

Here are some search terms that led people to my blog.  I can’t make this stuff up:

  • how can someone be so drunk that they do abnormal things like peeling wallpaper
  • when moms argue because kids friends argue
  • can fruit fly follow you

and, the one web search that got them to my site, that is just nuts:

  • i promise. I will kill you soon.

That one just makes me nervous!  What the heck?  How did that lead to my blog about migraines?  The internet is weird.  Maybe they got my anti-migraine smoothie recipe and all is good now.  Hope so!

Anyway, 100 is a lot!  And I have my sister in law to thank for this very first post to You can’t argue with crazy:

‘Winning’ (Charlie Sheen reference of course) the endless game of migraines (for this quarter at least)

Thoughts on my 17th wedding anniversary…

Today my husband and I have been married for 17 years.  That’s actually a really long time when I think about it, and it went really fast.  That day was wonderful 17 years ago, yet it seems like a lifetime ago in some ways.

I recently read about how people were commenting on how marriage is easy, and it created quite a debate.  I remember after getting married thinking how much all of those Brides magazines suck.  They painted such a pretty picture of the wedding, but they didn’t talk about the marriage.  I would never ever label marriage as easy, but it is definitely worth the work.

On our first anniversary, 16 years ago, we had plans to stay up on the North Coast of California in a fancy inn for the weekend.  Along the way, we planned on stopping to see the new Austin Powers movie that had just came out that day.  We got lost, (this was before GPS…gasp).  Then, frustration got the best of us as we argued our way to the beach inn.  Good thing it was all made up by excellent food and naps on the beach that weekend.  We even had a picnic basket of wine and brie.  We felt so fancy!  And relaxed!!

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If this picture were to happen now, it would be because my husband won some sort of bet or competition, and all three of my kids would be hooting and hollering in the background as they took the picture!  Our picnic baskets since our first anniversary have contained such items as swim diapers, PB&J, and capri suns.  Definitely not brie and wine.

Fast forward to today, our 17th anniversary.  We took a 5 hour drive back from our annual week camping at Pismo beach with my sister in laws and their families.  The 5 hour drive is followed by unpacking the trailer in 100+ heat, cleaning the trailer, tending to our house and zoo of animals, as my husband mows the lawns.  Romantic right?  We may get gyros for dinner, which I’m excited about.  Or, since we went from 60 degrees on the coast to 100+ here in the valley, we may have cereal.  It’s flippin’ hot.

Tomorrow brings a double header baseball game for my son and his team which my husband coaches, and a possible soccer game for my daughter.  So, there is our anniversary weekend.  Honestly, I have no complaints though.  Our kids are what have made our marriage a family, and I would have it no other way.  (Although, I am quite happy there are no baseball games today therefore my anniversary dinner doesn’t consist of a choice of a hot dog or nachos from the snack bar!!)

While sitting around the campfire in Pismo (6 adults, 8 kids ranging from 9-19), one of the 19 year olds asked if I had advice for him about relationships.  It was a super fun, light hearted conversation which everyone jumped in.  One of my sister in laws said when you find the one, and you get married, you have to commit to being all in.  The message being, you can’t just give up when things get hard.  My advice was you have to laugh.  Laugh hard with the one you are going to be with for life.  You have to be able to laugh until you have the ugly cry-silent laugh with tears running down your face.  If you can do that, the person is a keeper.  Because butterflies and rainbows that are dancing around when you first meet, they go away.  They return at times, and when they do, you chase after them and try and hold on to them for a while.  But when they aren’t there, you have to laugh, it keeps you connected.

I most certainly do not have a magic formula or tips for a happy marriage.  I find the times that are the most difficult usually have an underlying theme of being so busy that we don’t have time to catch up.  And when we do get  a rare (rare is even a generous term here) outing or overnight by ourselves, we really enjoy each others company.  I find myself halfway through dinner and some wine realizing, ‘hey, we still really like each other!’  A nice feeling when you’re able to peel away all of life’s craziness and just spend some time together.

I’m not a mushy person.  I can be a pretty big pain in the butt and hard to live with.  There are times I see red, and I don’t call him my best friend (see here for that explanation), but there is no one else I’d rather be on this journey with, and I’m thankful he chose me too!  Happy 17th anniversary to us!

Taking a lesson from my husband.

It was about 7:00 pm on a Thursday. Dishes were on the table, dishes were in the sink.

Kids were getting their showers done, finishing homework, reading.

I cleaned up, did all the dishes, washed down the table and counters, mopped…ha ha, who am I kidding, I hate mopping, I swiped a wet towel across the kitchen floor under the sink area and called it a day.

It had been a while since I had seen my husband.  He had disappeared into the backyard somewhere.  Not unusual.  He often goes outside to make work phone calls, and evening time is not out of the ordinary.

Dishes done, house picked up, children clean, hanging out, ready for bed. It’s 8:30 now, and I’m folding a load of laundry.  I asked my husband if he could bring in the next load for me.

After he did, I asked ‘Hey, where did you disappear to earlier after dinner?’ He said ‘I was throwing the ball to Mara for about 20 minutes.’

This is Mara: IMG_5066 I had to laugh.

Amazingly, I wasn’t annoyed or anything.  Just laughed.  I thought ‘man…this guy…not bad.’

Then I thought, I need to disappear for 20 minutes and just go and throw the ball to Mara sometimes.  Stupid that I never think to just disappear.  I always seem to have something to do. Although, I think that if I disappeared for 20 minutes unannounced, all I would hear is this, real loud:

My husband gets away with his buddy at least once or twice a month to go fishing.  Down time.

For some reason it takes an act of Congress for me to get away with my friends.  We all mean well, and we talk about getting away.  Hell, we practically dream of getting away for a weekend.  We talk about where we want to go, what we want to eat, and the spa treatments we’d get.  But too often, our grandiose dreams end up just being that.

There have been times in my mothering life, that I have gotten away.  Vegas with my friends, drinking at the craps table at 11:00 am, so awesome!  Spa treatments and excellent food along the coast.  And hotel movie jammie days (the husbands just don’t get those ones, they think it’s a waste of getting away.  Whatever, they are heavenly.)

Few and far between though.  Way too few and far between.

For now though, if you can’t find me, I’ll be in the backyard throwing the ball to Mara.  With earphones on though.

My husband is my best friend…NOT

“My husband is my best friend.”

If a note were passed to me and it said ‘who is your best friend?’ My husband’s name is not who I would write down.  And I think that is perfectly ok.

I chose my husband, out of all of the people in the world to spend my entire life with, together side by side until my very last breath.  I think that’s pretty good.  And I’d still pick him, all these years later.  Pretty damn good.

I am so fortunate, I have always had a fantastic set of friends throughout my life, many of them best friends.  My husband has a ton of great friends also, many of them still strong friendships from childhood.

Honestly, I don’t think my husband would want the roll as my best friend if he sat down and thought about it.  Here are some things he’d have to do as my best friend, and he’d hate it:

  • Talk about the percentage that was saved by using the Safeway Club Card off of the whole bill.  Compare and discuss for about 15 minutes.
  • Talk about how Trader Joe’s really isn’t that expensive, like I had the impression of.  Proceed to list my favorite things to buy there, compare, then discuss for about 15 minutes.
  • While away for a weekend, sit and lounge in jammies for the day while ordering movies on pay per view.
  • Talk about what we want to have for dinner at breakfast time.
  • Text about a reference to an event that had happened about 10 years ago, with full expectation of a best friend being able to nail the reference, and respond.
  • Wake up, not sleep through a phone call that is being received after a best friend has gone to sleep.  This hour of phone call would only mean that a) something is wrong, or b) something was really funny that couldn’t wait until the next day.
  • Talk to me on the phone while we are both making dinner and discuss what exactly we are making, how to make it, where we got the ingredients, and who will and won’t eat it in the family.  This may or may not relate back to a prior Safeway or Trader Joe’s conversation.
  • Order an extra mascara for a best friend when placing your order because she likes it too.
  • Get teary eyed when a best friend is emotional over something.
  • Send texts to each other of your drink when you’re having your best friends favorite beer with ‘wish we were having one together.’
  • Make homemade snickerdoodle cookies when your best friend gives birth just in case the chocolate chips would affect the breast milk.
  • Have important, lengthy conversations about people who are famous i.e.: Is Bruce Jenner transitioning into a woman?  Do you think that Jay-Z and Beyonce are splitting up, because I don’t.
  • Texts back and forth with pictures of the song that’s displayed on the car radio, or just a song that you had heard earlier.  (This also is immediately referenced and replied to.)
  • Make reference to Loony Tunes whenever applicable, as well as other coined phrases from cartoons of our youth.
  • Texting to see if I noticed that E-40 is in the front row behind home plate at the Giants game.
  • Make reference to Eddie Murphy whenever applicable.  (ie:  ‘Sorry about your job’ when someone is bent out of shape.)
  • Always respond with ’24 robbers came knocking at my door’ when a story is started with ‘not last night but the night before.’
  • Laughing and crying at the same episode of Scrubs, or, The Office.
  • When something new is learned about an ex boyfriend, a moment must be taken for discussion, and the discussion must always include how lame he is, and how thankful you are that you dodged that bullet.
  • Have a running list of songs and what memory they pertain to in order to reference at any time.  You must nail this one each and every time.
  • Talk about food.  Endless talks about food.  Even if the particular food has been discussed at length in a prior conversation, be prepared to discuss it’s wonderfulness again.

Here’s the thing, my husband is someone who can make me laugh harder than anyone, and the person that I can have the best time with.  Although, he’s also the one that can make me see red.  My best friends help level that playing field at times.  Kinda like a shield to my husband for when I’m seeing red sometimes.  If I can talk and vent and get things out to my best friend when I’m annoyed (or pissed) it takes A LOT of edge off of me, and therefore doesn’t get fired back on him. There are times, every now and then, when I’m mad over something, and those every now and then times, I can overreact.  (So seldom do I overreact that it really shouldn’t even be mentioned…..ha ha, a bit sarcastic.)  I am someone who needs to vent.  I need to make sense of things in my head before I can move on.    Don’t think that I share everything, or private things about my marriage with my best friends, I don’t want to be misconstrued, the point is that at times venting about something allows me to get over it quicker than if I didn’t!

I’m not a hater, I love to see married couples happy.  If your husband is your best friend, that’s awesome.  This post is my best friend outlook.  I’ll keep my best friends that I’ve made throughout my life.  And I’ll keep him as the person that I chose above all others to spend my life with, that’s a pretty good title if I do say so myself.

Disclaimer:  If you are reading this and thinking my husband’s feelings may be hurt, they aren’t.  He read it, he approved, and thought it was pretty funny.  He’s pretty thick skinned, and has a good sense of humor, two of the many reasons I married him and didn’t just make him a friend!  🙂

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