insomnia

Be Quiet Brain!

This last week I have seen two quotes that have stuck with me.

This is the first:

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Why can’t brains pull out a greatest hits reel when you can’t sleep?  Like, just keep rocking all the great things you’ve done, one after the other, so you’re smiling and high fiving yourself as you lay in your insomnia?

But nooooo, instead, when it’s dark, and you can’t sleep, it’s usually the time that regret gets focussed on.  I can recall things that I have regretted, and truly can feel the strong uncomfortable emotions that go along with that event, even if it’s been over 20 years.  In all honestly, the bad decisions that I can focus on really are only ruminated on by me.  There’s no one else sitting around at 4:00 in the morning thinking about some dumb crap I did in my early 20’s.  For some reason though, even though it makes no sense, middle of the night seems to be the perfect time to relive regrets (and to blow them way out of proportion).

Perfectionism is a crazy thing, and it leads to a ton of anxiety, because honestly, there is no such thing as perfect.  One persons perfect is another persons failure.  You can never win.  It’s hard to live every day to the fullest, but a big juicy creative life sounds awesome!

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