Parent humor

Pop tarts to the rescue again.

Went to Target this morning, and while checking out, started explaining my purchases to the cashier.

“I never would have thought I’d be buying Pop tarts for my kids’ before school breakfasts!  But if it helps them to get up for these last three weeks of school, I’m in.”

The cashier went on to tell me she gets up early to make eggs and home made stuff for her kids each morning.  That’s nice.  It really is.  Thankfully, she told me her kids are 5 and under.  I made a mental note to check in with her in 10 years and see if the egg thing was still working out for her.  If it is, I’ll allow myself to feel like a loser mom then, not now.  I’m in survival mode.

No one wants to get up for school anymore.  They’ve been doing it for just. too. long.  I’ve heard so many arguments such as “They (teachers) want us to get our sleep, so why do we have to get up so early?”  We even get to the point of “Why do we even need school,” as they walk past me in zombie like fashion.

So, in comes Pop tarts.  If these morsels of sugar can assist in my lovely children getting out of bed without me putting on a one person circus, I’m in.

Deal is, out of bed by specified time, you get Pop tarts for breakfast before school.

I wrote about this epic parenting technique last year, you can find it here:

Pop tarts for the win!

Hoping for a peaceful last three weeks of school, and minimal health damage!

Don’t judge. Whatever works man. ‪#‎poptarts‬

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The Mom Awards

A couple of years ago we had a sleepover at our house where each of my three kids had two friends spend the night for no special holiday or reason.  That’s nine kids total spending the night at my house.  My kids were thrilled, and had that look of shock when we said yes like they better run fast before we change our mind.  My friends gave a few all in fun comments like ‘wow’ or ‘you are crazy’.  And my response was ‘when I get my Mom Award one day, this is one of the things that needs to be listed.’

The Mom Awards are different than the ‘Mom of the Year Award.’  The ‘Mom of the Year Award’ is reserved for when we screw up pretty royally as a mom and state that ‘I will not be getting the Mom of the Year Award for that one!

There are so many reasons why moms should be acknowledged and awarded.  Sleeping in a broken hospital chair next to your recovering kid overnight is huge, as well as caring for your child when they get back home from a surgery, which I have done more than once.  But those things aren’t what I am talking about here, those are part of the job description…tough, emotionally draining parts of the job, that would not ever be slacked on.  The types of things I think deserve a Mom Award are the things that you don’t have to do, but you do them because it makes your kids happy.  The above and beyond the job description items.  It’s usually something that is harder on you to do than if you didn’t, but you do it anyway.

Examples:

  • Getting up before the sun way too many times to count to drive your kid to their sporting events.  (Why on Earth are games scheduled for 8:00 in the morning?  Let alone an hour + away?)
  • Sleeping outside on the deck of the treehouse in an air mattress that deflates by morning so the kids can sleep inside the treehouse and not be scared.
  • Driving for close to an hour to see if we can find the end of the rainbow because the kids said it looks like it’s not too far away.
  • A friend from my kids school has 3 kids, two that could be on the same basketball team due to their ages, but they want to be on their own teams, so there will probably be 3 teams of practices/games/snack schedules to follow rather than 2.

Basic, nothing too fancy, if not done, would have been a lot easier, but the smiles were worth it.

*If you’ve ever survived a lice outbreak in your home you get an instant Mom Award.  This one is not similar to the others above, but it is well due an award.  No explanation necessary.

I remember an Oprah episode, a long time ago, it showed this large family of grown up children that wanted to acknowledge and celebrate their mom.  The mom, surprised and on stage, said when asked what she thought about her kids doing this for her, something to the point of ‘I just wish I would have spent more time with them.  To not have been so busy with other things.’  This has always stuck with me, because here is this lady, who’s kids just love her and want to let her know what a great mom she is, and she still thinks that she should have done better.  Isn’t that just the truth?  No matter the great things we do, as moms, there is always a guilt that hangs over like a cloud of what more we could have done.  The Mom Awards are a reminder that we do great things all the time for our kids, usually things that would have been easier not to have done.

So, how do these Mom Awards look to me?  I see friends coming over and gathering around the fire pit with a glass of wine or drink of choice.  As they come in, they need to drop a piece of paper into a box (kinda like a suggestion box, but a Mom Awards box) with a reason for their Mom Award.  And as we sit around the fire and drink some wine and eat some good food, we read out loud the pieces of paper and laugh and celebrate.  Not quite the Oscars or the ESPYs, but man, it sure sounds fun!

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